I’d love to share with you a bit of my story.
Sickness Plagued My Life
From birth, I suffered health problems. For the first 12 months of my life I am told that I constantly cried, I was eventually diagnosed with colic. I am also told that my sisters asked mum several times to take me back to hospital! My poor precious family. I was a ‘sickly’ child who caught every bug or sickness going around. Around the age of 12 I contracted a virus which decades later was recognised as glandular fever. Around the age of 13 I suffered horrendous difficult and painful periods. This was the start of a long, daunting and frustrating battle. I wasn’t diagnosed until my late teens with endometriosis. It was extremely difficult to treat and it took 28 years to overcome! Whilst I was battling with that I was also diagnosed with chronic fatigue and irritable bowel syndrome when I was in my 20’s.
In 2014 I was hit by a virus that GREATLY impacted me! What started out as an upper respiratory infection quickly escalated into a virus that attacked my liver; kidneys; and adrenal glands. I was eventually diagnosed with adrenal and chronic fatigue as my ability evaporated! I was physically; emotionally; spiritually and mentally downcast. Turning 40 I was the sickest I had ever been in my life! The illness shackled me severely for 28 months and my recovery is still ongoing. At the start of 2016 my abdominal issues flared up with a vengeance. I had 2 operations – the first to determine what was going on and the second to try and give me permanent relief.
How did all this feel? One difficult day I wrote the following:
I am in a deep dark pit of despair
The darkness engulfs me
I fear that my grief has devoured me and I can never be repaired
The walls of my pit close in on me suffocating me
I struggle for each and every breath
A while ago I thought I saw a glimmer of light
I felt a small spark of hope ignite in my chest
But the light has disappeared and so the spark of hope snuffs
How long do I wait?
How much more pain can I endure?
Passion has evaporated
Am I forever changed?
Am I to remain like this?
Oh the agony in my body!
Oh the torment in my mind!
Oh the despair in my soul!
I want to pray but I have no words to say
All I can cry out is “help me Lord”
I want the darkness to disappear
I long to see the sunlight
To feel it’s warmth upon my face
I long to see the clouds
To feel the wind rush through my hair
My heart cries out for mercy
My body screams for rest
How much more….
How much longer…..
I had family and friends praying for me and encouraging me. BUT I felt as if God wasn’t listening, I see now He was holding me in His arms. I felt as if no one understood although I had great medical professionals surrounding me. It’s so easy to feel alone and lost but know that you’re NOT! I hope and pray you can know that during dark times in your life God is with you!
I had been pressing into God, hearing from him and receiving daily the Proverbs 31 Ministries devotions -these daily devotions spoke to my hurting heart and doubting spirit!!! But as I was unable to attend church I felt prompted to search for an event to attend in the hope of finding healing. I committed to attending the Majestic Women retreat, September 2016, run by Veronica Miles. I didn’t know Veronica I only knew 1 speaker and 1 friend attending. A week before the retreat Veronica sent an email asking us to come expectant as she believed “God had a specific appointment” with each of us. The week leading up I was physically really unwell! I was emotionally and spiritually downcast which left me feeling utterly defeated! I somehow got there but I arrived feeling SO self-conscious, SO defeated, SO unwell, SO emotional, SO bitter………….
Saturday morning at the retreat (3rd of September 2016) the speaker, Brenda, asked “who do you think you are?” and at the end she declared “God has the answers, draw close to him”. As I stood there praying I felt scared to go forth, I wanted to but I was terrified! I again felt terribly self-conscious, I was wondering if it was the right time to ask for prayer.
Then Petty spoke out about bringing the dry bones alive. I was almost knocked to the floor. That was me. I was a bunch of dry withering bones!!!! I took that ‘leap of faith’, I walked forward, I knelt and I was prayed for. The first words I heard were from Eunice and she simply said: “you are enough”, those words started the tears flowing. Something started shifting, changing, words of life were spoken over me. I was anointed in oil by my friend Sheree who declared healing over me. I felt touched.
Afterwards I had some private prayer.
Saturday night I just couldn’t sleep! So many thoughts were racing through my head.
I managed maybe 3 hours of sleep. 4.50am on the 4th of September 2016 (Father’s Day) I was awoken by God and he whispered: “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. You are healed.” Glory and honour to my precious Jesus! Not by my might but by His glorious power!!!!!!!
Daughter – reminding me of who I am!
Faith – celebrating that I remained in relationship with Him!
Peace – granting me His peace.
Healed – no longer doubting when, it’s right now!
I can share this with you only because of the grace of God!
In August, 2016, I felt like I could never make an impact in the world!
My voice had been strangled!
My identity stolen!
I am so pleased to say and truly know that God is the Lord of miracles!
I desire for you to know Jehovah Rapha also – the Lord who heals!
Andrew Wommack makes a wonderful statement: “God has provided everything we need in this life and in the life to come – forgiveness of sins, healing, deliverance, and prosperity. Isn’t God good!”
I can identify with that statement so much!
God has healed me because that what He’s in the business of doing!
Jesus came to save, to heal and to make us whole!
It is truly wonderful!
Charles F. Stanley states: “Praise God that His mercies to you are new every morning – He is continually extending Himself to you and seeking ways to bless you, guide you, and encourage you.”
This is confirmed in Lamentations 3:21-25 where we are implored to hope and have expectation! It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not. The Lord’s loyal love never ends! God’s merciful love doesn’t dry up. The Lord is good to those who passionately wait and who diligently seek Him. It’s a good thing to quietly hope for help from Him. God’s mercy is new every morning; great and abundant is His stability and faithfulness. His tender compassions are new every morning!
Matthew 19:26 promises that with God all things are possible!
From Psalm 40:1-3, 5, 8-11, 16: I’ve waited patiently for the LORD to help me. God has turned to me and hears my cries. He lifts me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He sets my feet on solid ground! God will steady me as I walk forth in all that has been declared over my life. TODAY I’m given a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to my God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the LORD. O LORD my God, You have performed many wonders for me. Your plans for me are too numerous to list. You have no equal. If I tried to recite all Your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them. I take joy in doing Your will, God, for Your instructions are written on my heart. I will go forth and speak to all people about Your justice. I will not be afraid to speak out! I will not keep the good news of Your justice hidden in my heart. I will tell ALL about Your faithfulness and saving power. Lord don’t hold back Your tender mercies from me. Let Your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me. Fill me afresh with Your joy and gladness! I shout: “The LORD is great!”.
Ezekiel 13:23 I declare that God will rescue His people from the grasp of the enemy! What comes next will be a great testimony so that others will come to know the LORD.
I pray that you are encouraged by my story and can also experience healing.
Many blessings, Keona